Under Pressure

Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you, no man ask for
Under pressure that burns a building down
Splits a family in two
Puts people on streets
Queen and David Bowie-Under Pressure

Building and building and building.  No John Locke to punch 4, 8,15,16, 23, 42 <enter> and release the pressure. All those expectations from others and ourselves.
Perform, perform, perform.
The shoulders are a little tired.
(perform)
The neck a bit compressed. 
​(perform)
The knees are wobbly. 
(perform)
Everyone's depending on me to hold up the world. Right? All the burdens. All the duties. All the saving. All the steering. All the covering. 
But I can't do it.
(perform)
But I have to do it.
(perform)
But I want to cry "uncle"
(perform)
Hey, can you see me giving out? Because I don't know how to tell you that this is about to blow. Stuck in my throat. All the silent screams. All the things unheard. All the cries alone in the closet. All the shouts in the car with the music turned all the way up. All the bottling-up, face to face. 
Trying to perform by all the books. So many books. A perfect daughter. A perfect mom. A perfect wife. A perfect Christ-follower. No, I don't need to talk to anyone. I got this. I know it all. Fix myself. Just work harder and prettier and smarter and...(oh, I can't actually do any of these things? shhhh)
Smile, you're on stage. 

The works were the thing. The checklist that kept looking more unattainable.
 Working for grace and not from it.
No resting. All fear and pride. 
Chernobyl, anyone?

some of us got married
went to seminary
or found a job where the people are
and then we're asked to carry
loads that are too heavy for...
and it makes us crazy...
Starflyer 59 Bicycle Rider

Jesus was serious when he said, 
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30

Like, serious, serious.
It's not a suggestion. You have permission. Before meltdown.
And if you need to talk pressure, I'm all ears and tears these days. 
And we'll just breathe together. 
Pearl Jam Just Breathe 
Queen and David Bowie Under Pressure
Starflyer 59 Bicycle Rider

Let's not speak of the #Write31Days pressure I took on, k?
And might I add that Jen Hatmaker's book, For The Love, is hilarious and  good medicine for pressure. Get it.