Walking The Line on Day 18

 "You begin by being awestruck that he loves someone like you." Benji Magness

Who has ever given to God that He should repay Him?
Romans 11:35

I walk the line. Carefully balancing spiritual insecurity and arrogance.
The insecurity of fearful obedience on a tightrope walk. To heaven. To rest. Counting my steps. Waiting for relief while hoping God is noticing how well I'm taking up the challenge. Because that's what this Christian life is about, right. A challenge.
And I'm going to beat you.
All this worry and careful footfalling will earn me my reward.
Ahead of all you lazies.
Oh, there you are, arrogance. Careful, you're showing. 
God, look at me. Aren't you relieved to have one of us doing it right? See how I die to myself? I hope you're adding up all the sacrifices, all the sweat and tears. All my moral dutifulness.
Heaven better be darn good for all this.
Ignore the snobbery. Oh, and the bitterness, too. 
And the gossip. And the coveting. And the hatred.
Man, we're back to insecurity, again. 
I'm falling, for sure. 
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And God in his goodness let me fall. But not eternally. So that his glory and love could be seen and understood and believed for the first time. The warm comfort in His forgiveness. The cleansing in His righteousness. He picked me up. So that I could see that it's a walk with him on a path He has set out. Not a tightrope.
His hand is trusted to be taken and led by.
Because He is love.
And I am overwhelmed by that love.

You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.
Psalm 139:5

And I now know that my Father loves me. Like, LOVES me. Obedience is so much more of a dance with joy and exuberance on this side. It's beautiful and freeing, not stifling. 
So that I can walk the line, with a little jig.

You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line
Johnny Cash


The incomparable man in black, Johnny Cash I Walk The Line
and Sunday Morning Coming Down
and the sad beauty of  Hurt
Listen to the first Cash song that made me a fan as a wee lass, A Boy Named Sue