Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs.
Yes, Paul, we CAN have too many silly love songs. So many songs about romantic love, its pursuit, its aftermath. Love bites, love stinks, love me love me. Some artists make an entire career out of falling in and out of love.
We get it. Hey, guess what? Some of the better love songs are actually crafted out of friendship.
Put on "Hey Skinny" by Wayne Everett
Like, do it. Now.
Okay, okay, I'll add a link. Scroll down to the end and listen already.
hey my man, i’m diggin’ your style
you’ve taken my best and made it shine
music comes, and music goes
but your heart, it keeps me alive
It's so joyful.
Can you hear the sound of trust, encouragement, years.
That's what Soulmates really sound like.
It can't be manufactured, marketed, monetized.
I meet someone, I think she's cool. She's smart, interesting, compassionate, something. Something special is ringing. Is she gonna like me? Dip my toe in, little by little, testing the water. Is it okay to be myself? My actual self. Not the costumes I pull out for meet and greets. It takes time. It takes trust. Discretion. Truth-telling. Humility.
My tried and true, honest-to-goodness, never gonna give you up friends are gems. They are rare. They are precious. They ask good questions, they are HONEST, they cause me to think, to evaluate my biases, my priorities, my decisions, who I am. They ease me into being comfortable with myself, craziness and all.
Did I say they are rare?
I love them so much!
Living in a place where people don't tend to stick around long, it's been a challenge not to stop investing in women who will ultimately break my heart.
I have so many lonesome cowboy songs to sing.
The ache is so much worse than any breakup.
But these friends have pulled me out of the worst of the worst. They have breathed life into me, kept me going, kept me laughing, laughed at me in the best way, gone to hear indie bands they've never heard, ran for fries with me at 1 AM in San Fran after a show. Driven to LA for cake and doughnuts.
Gosh, I have a food thing, yes?
And I love them so much!
They deserve the love songs.
They're the ones I can't live without.
They take my best and make it shine.
They are the the deep things of this world.
They understand why I wear a ruff sometimes.
I'll let you in on another secret. As a married lady with so many children, it's been a gift to have a few precious ones who happen to be single and want to be friends with me. They bring me all of the interesting books, debates, recipes, crushes, tv binges I don't have the bandwidth to search out myself. Ladies night is the best night. They give me a different view into the world. Understanding. So many laughs. They make me more interesting. And I love them so much! I'm suddenly wondering what I bring to the table, now....
Mix it up
Hold them close
Dance with abandon
Exchange music and books
Accept honest admonishment
Check in on them
Write more movies, songs, and books about them.
Binge watch Star Trek, The Next Generation and Kim's Convenience.
Observe other friendships. Learn from them. Read Becoming Duchess Goldblatt.
It's about friendship.
That's the real shipper stuff.
On a lonely night
go out to sea and set your course for me
when your buildings fall
and bring your ship to me
We don't need silly love songs. We need better friends, Paul.
And good music.
Also, support good music and purchase some, I'll get you started with a rec......
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