ramblin' rae
  • Blog
  • About
  • #Write31Days Life in Stereo
  • Wearing my Blog on My Sleeve

Writing Through The Fog

A little humor. A little music. Heaps of Grace.

..sometimes the evil son...

7/20/2015

2 Comments

 
Picture
i'm the evil one
sometimes the evil son
but the light goes through my door

-starflyer 59 through my door

So much more be stored in a carry-on than you'd think. And, somehow, with all that extra weight, TSA can't screen it out? 
.
I didn't expect nemesis to hitch a ride to paradise. But she hid herself well somewhere between my sneaks and sunscreen. Oh, condemnation, you sneaky devil. Come to spoil the fun, eh? To kill any anticipated relief? And sink us all.
 
Now, it doesn't color everything. But some of those beautiful pics? I'm sure mine aren't the first not to tell the whole story. The tears and insomnia and fear behind some of them. All the spiritual tension. I wonder if I'll even dare to publish this. 

The one person I have trusted and relied on over all others is the only one who terrifies me now. And I know this must be a place that God wants me in. For my mistrust of people spilled over onto Him. I could only trust me. Stood myself in his place. With a heart too deceitful and a flesh too weak to carry it off forever. 

 Condemnation breathes a little oxygen into the ember of terror until the licks of flames are saying.....

                                                                  This is who you really are....
                                                                          This is all of you.....
                                                                  You are the real enemy.....
                                                                      Laughter is gone.....
                                                                         Joy is not yours to have......
                                                        You have to pay and you'll never be able to pay........
                                           Accepting forgiveness? Selfish, selfish, selfish.
Penance, honey, penance. 

And even Hawaii morphs into a place of panic and death.
But His light shines through. Eventually. After much spiraling and stubborn wrestling, and ....not trusting. He loves those around me enough to send lifelines.To extinguish those flames with gospel truth. To turn the focus back to Him and the work that He has already done and is now doing. No, you'll never be able to work for it. And you are so uncomfortable with that. Why resist the easier yolk? Quit trying to put the impossibly heavy one back on.  Condemnation does't get to come back with you.
 
Repeat as many times as necessary.

Lay it down. 
It is finished.
 
The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.
He will not always chide: neither will he keep his anger for ever.
 He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.
For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is his mercy toward them that fear him.
As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
 Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him.
 For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.
Psalm 103:8-14


If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9


There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
Romans 8:1
( and I suggest reading all of chapter 7 and 8)

to be continued..

2 Comments

rainy day woman

6/30/2015

 
Picture

  These days, hopelessness has been very busy trying to establish her studio in my mind that pumps out its music of despair and resignation. Attempting to drown out truth. Then I have to pull out the Stones (of Gilgal).

  And he said to the people of Israel, “When your children ask their fathers in times to come, ‘What do these stones mean?’ then you shall let your children know, ‘Israel passed over this Jordan on dry ground.’ For the LORD your God dried up the waters of the Jordan for you until you passed over, as the LORD your God did to the Red Sea, which he dried up for us until we passed over, so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the LORD is mighty, that you may fear the LORD your God forever.”
                                                         Joshua 4:21-24
 
   Memorials of God's sovereignty and faithfulness need to be established in my heart and mind, by the discipline of remembrance. When I see no way out or hope for change in my selfish heart, I've had to put on the practice of pressing play on the songs He has already made for me. 
 
    When covered in shame - Songs of deliverance and songs of forgiveness
    When helpless - Songs of reformation and songs of healing
    When the pain becomes unbearable - Songs of love and songs of friendship

    They all rise together to form a song of hope in the one who has already given all these things and more. My deliverer from the "domain of darkness"(see Col.1:13)

       And I can move one more day in obedience through the morass, remembering that eternal hope. 
     
P.S.
Sometimes, my thoughts can best be summed up in actual songs from actual talented people. Yes, I'm sure Mary Katherine Gallagher and I are related.  
                 ~ inspirational tunage this week ~ 
Through My Door   and      
Father John       
                       by Starflyer59
Clean (My God Has Rescued Me)  and      
 In Ruin
                     by the Violet Burning


   
 


    shirley decker

    Disciple. 
    Nerd.
    Wife.
    Mom.
    Singer of random songs.


    Archives

    July 2020
    April 2020
    March 2018
    January 2018
    April 2017
    November 2016
    April 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    February 2015
    November 2014
    October 2014

    Categories

    All
    Book Reviews
    Condemnation
    Life Giving Grace
    Messy Family
    Repentance
    The Flesh
    The Pride Of Life

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly
  • Blog
  • About
  • #Write31Days Life in Stereo
  • Wearing my Blog on My Sleeve