These days, hopelessness has been very busy trying to establish her studio in my mind that pumps out its music of despair and resignation. Attempting to drown out truth. Then I have to pull out the Stones (of Gilgal).

  And he said to the people of Israel, “When your children ask their fathers in times to come, ‘What do these stones mean?’ then you shall let your children know, ‘Israel passed over this Jordan on dry ground.’ For the LORD your God dried up the waters of the Jordan for you until you passed over, as the LORD your God did to the Red Sea, which he dried up for us until we passed over, so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the LORD is mighty, that you may fear the LORD your God forever.”
                                                         Joshua 4:21-24
 
   Memorials of God's sovereignty and faithfulness need to be established in my heart and mind, by the discipline of remembrance. When I see no way out or hope for change in my selfish heart, I've had to put on the practice of pressing play on the songs He has already made for me. 
 
    When covered in shame - Songs of deliverance and songs of forgiveness
    When helpless - Songs of reformation and songs of healing
    When the pain becomes unbearable - Songs of love and songs of friendship

    They all rise together to form a song of hope in the one who has already given all these things and more. My deliverer from the "domain of darkness"(see Col.1:13)

       And I can move one more day in obedience through the morass, remembering that eternal hope. 
     
P.S.
Sometimes, my thoughts can best be summed up in actual songs from actual talented people. Yes, I'm sure Mary Katherine Gallagher and I are related.  
                 ~ inspirational tunage this week ~ 
Through My Door   and      
Father John       
                       by Starflyer59
Clean (My God Has Rescued Me)  and      
 In Ruin
                     by the Violet Burning


   
 

"Trying to work your way to heaven is like trying to swim to Hawaii,  you might make it 10 yards, but everybody drowns." Eric Metaxas
  
     Some lies are more subtle than others. So well dressed up in fear and doubt and works. God, in his goodness and love, has been revealing lies I didn't even know  I was buying, but I was. I "knew" that my salvation and His love for and approval of me were only based on the sacrifice of Jesus. My prayers have revealed otherwise. I would pray and immediately the fine print would show up,"well, He's powerful and all, but He can only really work when I've got my life totally lined up. He can use me when I'm clean. He can use me when I've got enough distance from my sinful messes. He can use me when I've had total victory and am disciplined..." Yes, I have believed that lie that His death has not made me sufficiently clean. That my sinful, messy life can override any power He may have to work.(because I'm that powerful, apparently) That I have to be weary from trying not to lose His approval. Basically that He is not God, my creator, my savior, my guide. That Jesus lied when he said "it is finished". How arrogant of me. And how exhausting.

               1 Peter 1:18-19 "For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed out of the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect."
Um, doesn't sound like there's any room for my glorious works in there, right Peter.

               "Our salvation is NOT Christ's payment plus an annual payment by us to keep it activated." Kari Way. 
There is no fine print.

       I believe His promises. I believe He will save those I love. I believe He will be faithful to complete the good work He has started in me.  

Romans 8:35  "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?"
       There is so much more power in stopping our flailing about and letting Him carry us to that shore, so much more love for our God and those He's placed around us. Our hope is full. Resting in His promises is better than foolishly trying to make them happen ourselves. How can we reflect His glory when we're trying to shine our own?
I'm done drowning.
  
     

a rare quiet afternoon reading a thought-provoking book

          As a fierce skeptic of modern day miracles, you'd think this would not be a book for me. The Holy Spirit has been opening my eyes as of late to the world which we do not always see. 
         Having read Bonhoeffer and Amazing Grace and seen Socrates in the City broadcasts and events such as the Presidents' prayer breakfast, I have formed a respect for the author, Eric Metaxas. Yes, even after catching him on "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" a time or two. I was curious to read what he may write on the subject. 
         It was not what I was expecting, though I'm not sure what that was. The apologetics aspect was a welcome surprise, though I know there will be some debate about the age of the Earth, etc. But the evidence of our Creator is humbling. Metaxas also does a good job with defining miracles and what the purpose for them is, namely, pointing to their source. The most impactful section of the book for me was "The Biblical Miracles". It shone a light on Jesus in a powerful way for me.The "why" behind his doing them. His humanity, love, compassion, and graciousness. Something shifted in my heart. I love that God is always revealing himself anew, even after 38 years of my life here. 
        I'll admit that I struggled with "A Watch Stops". I still do. It's a reaction to anything to do with Benny Hinn. I was so troubled that I put the book down for several days after having devoured it up to that point. But wrestling is not bad. We have to be measured and discerning, but take in the bigger picture. Do I really believe that God works even around people whom I believe to be hucksters? Hmm. I'm still wrestling. Keeps me seeking to know God more deeply. 
       There is so much more to mull over, pray on, research, and dicuss in this book. I believe that's the point.

                    From @EricMetaxas on Twitter,
                   My @MiraclesTheBook isn't about winning an argument about God. It's about beginning a conversation about God -- one we're not having enough.  
           
          Now, being one who connected with Mr. Metaxas's statement  in the chapter, "USS Washington, June 1940", that "the idea that some things are so sacred they cannot bear unveiling" I am wont to share many truly personal things. But reading this book, as a cynic, brought remembrance of experiences that I have personally had and not shared. One of those follows.
                   "..he is such a big God that he can afford to deal with us on an intimate level,to encourage us and to wink at us and to hold our hand when we need him to do that." Miracles chapter 13, page 257
           As a seventeen year old, I had reached what I thought to be the absolute bottom of despair. Some pretty devastating things had transpired that I won't go into here. I was alone at night in my room sitting on my bed, absolutely gutted. Tears were flowing down the cheeks of a girl who cried maybe once up to that point(very british dna, you know). I really had no desire to ever walk out of that room again. I quite literally felt a set of warm arms wrap around me and hold me. God, in his love and mercy, knew what I needed and reached in to comfort me. 
           Miracles covers a lot of ground and touches on measuring miracles, questioning them, conversions, faith, the character of God, our relationship with and view of Him. I need to read it a second time. I appreciate that it has caused me to turn to scripture with renewed vigor and start a dialogue about the enormous power of my Creator. I am now expecting to see Him at work, rather than be surprised by it. Get a copy at Amazon or Barnes and Noble and we'll start a discussion. 
           Disclosure. As part of the Miracles launch team, I received a free copy with no strings attached except a promise to honestly review it.